It all goes back to that stupid fucking apple. Thousands and thousands of years of men having no accountability and women being blamed for everything. All because of a story about an apple. Three of the most prominent religions in the world teach that story. From the time that you’re a child, if you grow up in one of those three religions, hell, even if you don’t, you are taught that Eve ate the apple. But here’s the thing. Adam ate it too. HE ATE THE APPLE TOO. I saw a really brilliant play recently at Second Stage called “On the Evolutionary Function of Shame,” written by the D.A. Mindell, that broached this exact issue. His play touched on a lot of other very important subjects, and I highly recommend it. Though I am using women and men in this opinion, I mean it not to be limiting, but to discuss the patriarchal perception and perpetuation of this issue. The issue that no one seems to talk about. The fact that Adam ate it too. Even if I were to believe in the “creation story,” which, for the record, I don’t, somehow it just seems to get completely and utterly glossed over that Adam, having his own autonomy and free will, ATE THE APPLE TOO.
I remember growing up and constantly hearing the phrase “boys will be boys.” As if everything that a boy did was somehow excusable because, well, he’s a boy. And boys will be boys. But, what does that phrase even mean? You never hear anyone say “girls will be girls.” You sometimes hear “girls just want to have fun,” but even that has a stigma attached to it that has never been attached to a boy.
And I get it. The anger we are seeing from men right now in western culture. It has to be such a bitch. To be told your entire life that nothing you do is your fault and your mother will center you, and baby you, and pamper you from the time you’re a child until you are grown up enough for her to pass the reigns of taking care of you on to another woman who will also center you, and baby you, and pamper you. I mean, look at what is happening right now in the United States. Babies. Babies running the country. Babies who seem to think they are entirely unaccountable for their actions.
And, the competition and resentment we consistently see between women is a direct result of the fact that it can’t be the man’s fault. Because it never has been. So it has to be the other woman’s fault. Or his mother’s fault. Or his wife’s fault. Because you’re not going to get any accountability from the man, so you have to look to the women around him to place the blame. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that my own mother’s relationship with my father’s mother improved dramatically after they were divorced. I’m pretty positive that any issue that my grandmother raised to my father was immediately shifted to my mother. That’s the thing about the patriarchy; it not only holds men blameless for their own actions, it also encourages the competition and the blame from woman to woman. If you look at history, even priests have excused horrendous actions taken by men by simply saying, “It’s not your fault. She tempted you.” I mean, really think about that for a second. This is, by their own account, and agent of God “himself” literally excusing violent and vile actions. So whose fault is it? Who should we look to to point the finger? Men? Religion?
You know whose fault I think all of it is? Eve. It all goes back to that fucking apple. I’m saying this tongue in cheek, because I don’t even believe Eve existed. But, really, it’s all of us. Women shouldn’t allow themselves to participate in the Patriarchy. Men shouldn’t allow themselves to participate in the patriarchy. All easier said than done, of course. Especially when the beliefs and stories of Religion are so incredibly pervasive in society. So, maybe as we evolve, it would probably be appropriate for the mythological stories that we base society on to evolve with us. I can’t help but wonder in all my years of Sunday school why no one ever said the words, “And Adam CHOSE to eat the apple.”
