And I can understand banning Maus,
a book replete with profanity, nudity, violence, and suicide.
There’s no need for profanity, nudity, violence, or suicide
in a book about the Holocaust.
The Holocaust was about evil Gazpacho Police forcing innocent people to wear masks.
A crime against humanity, to be sure,
or at least a crime against the inalienable right to spread infectious diseases,
but, nevertheless, a crime that can be taught tastefully,
without profanity,
without nudity,
without violence,
without suicide,
without Maus.

But banning I Need a New Butt?
No, now you have gone too far.
How can you expect our kids to sit
quietly at their desks and learn
if they don’t have a proper butt
upon which to sit?
Madam Superintendent of Schools,
you need a new brain.
Yours has a crack in it.